Oaty Caramel: Beach House Cafe, Kaikoura

FIONA: We had half an hour to kill in Kaikoura yesterday so decided to check out two cafes and go for the better looking caramel slice of the two. This is because moderation is very important #health. The first cafe we looked at had something that was apparently a caramel slice but unfortunately was also described as organic, raw, and whole grain. Because it was my birthday yesterday and I don’t like being disappointed on my birthday, we decided to leave that one. I’m not about to pretend to enjoy shit like that, even though I’m 27 now.

Anyway, so you know when you order something from a cafe and the person who takes your order congratulates you on your choice because you picked their favourite item on the menu? That’s what happened when we went next door and ordered the Oaty Caramel from Beach House Cafe Kaikoura. I can safely report that the lady working behind the counter there this morning has great taste because this slice was banging.

The base was slim and not very noteworthy, but that didn’t matter. The oats and coconut that normally would have gone into a base were on top of the caramel instead and were dark, toasted and chewy. The caramel itself was also dark and chewy and excellent. We practically inhaled this slice and seriously considered going back for a second.

TEXTURE: 9/10
FLAVOUR: 8.5/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE/OTHER BITS RATIO: 8.5/10
OVERALL RATING: 8.5/10

ANDREW:This slice was a hit (seriously this cafe was A+) with both Fiona and I. The caramel was dark and chewy with a lovely strong flavour that was this slice’s defining characteristic. When combined with the toasted coconut and oats on top that gave it a lovely crunchy texture, it went down faster than an Aussie PM during a leadership vote.

TEXTURE: 9/10
FLAVOUR: 8/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 8/10
OVERALL RATING: 8.5/10

Caramel Slice: Thomas and Sons, Blenheim

We are on the road again. New caramel slices await on every horizon. Disclaimer: we will not be trying four slices in every town like we did in Dannevirke. That was Too Many Slices.

FIONA: We searched high and low for a good slice in Blenheim and decided to go for this bad boy. It looked the most promising and we wanted a good choc top after our last few slices were chocolate-free or chocolate-skimpy.

The base was a delicious rich brownie and the top was dark chocolate icing – mercifully not the congealed, stretchy pseudo-icing we experienced in Dannevirke, but proper icing, like on a good chocolate cake. These two elements were very yummy but made this caramel slice taste like a chocolate mud cake. This isn’t a bad thing, obviously. In fact, it tasted uncannily like the Cheesecake Shop chocolate mud cake that I requested for my birthday party circa 1998.

However, the caramel simply couldn’t compete with all the rich chocolate. It was overwhelmed and lost. And while this slice was undoubtedly yum, it wasn’t the caramel goodness I was hoping for.

TEXTURE: 5/10
FLAVOUR: 6/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 2/10
OVERALL RATING: 5/10

ANDREW: This initially looked very promising, and while it was nice, it didn’t meet expectations. (Sounds like my report cards from school). I enjoyed the crunchy base, and the caramel was good but the brownie base and the rich icing were both similar flavors that mostly overwhelmed it. It was very similar in flavour to a caramel brownie I get from a spot near work. I still enjoyed this slice however.

TEXTURE: 6/10
FLAVOUR: 6/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 4/10 OVERALL RATING: 5.5/10

Macadamia Caramel Slice: Sweet Bakery and Cakery, Karori

FIONA: I’m always suspicious of a caramel slice that has more base than caramel, so I approached this slice warily. After all, the rule is that a caramel slice’s dominant layer should always be caramel. Much like the English language, however, there is often an exception to the rule. This slice was the exception. It was EXCEPTIONAL.

No-one buys a caramel slice for the base, but just this once, I would recommend you buy this slice for the base. It was the most decadent, buttery, delectable shortbread I have ever had. It was exquisite. It was a masterpiece. The caramel accentuated the buttery richness of the base with a sweet, rich flavour of its own. The macadamias on top were plentiful and toasted enough to add a bit of savoury crunchy goodness to every mouthful.

The white chocolate squiggles on top were largely ornamental, not adding heaps of texture or flavour. Honestly though, the other three elements of the slice were so great, I don’t think it actually needed chocolate at all (!).

TEXTURE: 8/10
FLAVOUR: 9/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 8/10 (incredibly high given its departure from traditional ratios, but I stand by this rating)
OVERALL RATING: 8.5/10

ANDREW: I bought this slice from the wonderful Sweet cafe, who have provided great treats to my work on many occasions, and my expectations were high – they weren’t disappointed either! A very rich buttery shortbread base, toasted macadamias and great caramel. I really enjoyed the texture and flavour of this one. It was well balanced and all the elements came together nicely. If you like shortbread and macadamia, then this one is for you!

TEXTURE: 8.5/10
FLAVOUR: 9/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 8/10
OVERALL RATING: 8.5/10

Tan Square: Catching Pen Cafe, Dannevirke

FIONA: This inauspiciously named “Tan Square” had about an inch of delectable caramel – nice and dark, and with a crunchy, extra-caramelised bit around one edge. 

The dark caramelisation added enough texture and flavour that chocolate wasn’t missed much, though a little more crunch wouldn’t have gone amiss. The base was shortbread, and was a little crumbly but did its job as a caramel platform well. Love your work, Catching Pen Cafe. Your two caramel offerings were gratefully received.

TEXTURE: 8/10
FLAVOUR: 8/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 7/10 (good amount of caramel to base, despite lack of chocolate)
OVERALL RATING: 7.5/10

ANDREW: Ah, hyperglycaemia my good friend…

Seriously, this slice was a lot. The caramel was nice and dark, with a crunchy edge, the base was thick but I’m going to be honest, some dark chocolate to cut the sweetness a bit would have helped, as would a slightly smaller slice. I did like that the caramel was the star, but overall found it a bit unbalanced.

TEXTURE: 7/10
FLAVOUR: 7/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 6/10 (too much caramel)
OVERALL RATING: 7/10

Caramel Slice: The Vault, Dannevirke

FIONA: The slice equivalent of Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses: blonde, perfectly fine, unlikely to be nominated for any major awards.

I thought this one looked fairly average so tasted it with sights set appropriately low. The caramel, as expected, was a bit underdone and not very flavoursome. The lack of chocolate didn’t help – a dark chocolate layer would’ve helped immensely to balance out the sweetness. The texture from the shortbread base and crumb on top was the highlight. Nice and chewy.

TEXTURE: 8/10
FLAVOUR: 4/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 7/10 (good amount of caramel to base, despite lack of chocolate)
OVERALL RATING: 6/10

ANDREW: This was a nice enough slice, but definitely in the C+ to B- range. It gets a pass, goes well with a coffee but I wouldn’t buy again. Nice texture, but both the base and the caramel needed more omph. Some dark chocolate on top may have improved it.

TEXTURE: 7.5/10
FLAVOUR: 5/10
C̶H̶O̶C̶:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 7/10
OVERALL RATING: 6/10

Gluten-Free Chocolate Caramel Slice: The Regent Cafe, Dannevirke

FIONA: I had high hopes for our first gluten-free slice tasting. The main element of the slice affected by the gluten-free verdict is the base. Desiccated coconut, almond, hazelnut and sesame seeds are all delicious wheat alternatives that can be consumed by the wheat-free among us. Unfortunately, this slice had none of those things. Unfortunately, its base seemed to consist primarily of rice flour, which has the consistency and flavour of sawdust mixed with chalk.

The rest of the slice wasn’t great either. The caramel was super blonde – it tasted like sugar and nothing else. Compared to the last slice we had, it was a totally different and far inferior colour (see scientific diagram below). The chocolate was also a weird sort of icing instead of melted chocolate, so it was very soft and sticky.

TEXTURE: 2/10
FLAVOUR: 2/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 7/10. The ratios were visually promising, but unfortunately none of the components tasted nice, so the ratios didn’t matter much.
OVERALL RATING: 3/10

ANDREW: Despite promising looking ratios and the potential a gluten free caramel slice might offer, this slice was a disappointment. Much like The Matrix Reloaded, it wasn’t worth finishing.

Turns out it wasn’t even chocolate on top but some icing that vaguely tasted like chocolate, which when combined with the underdone caramel and what I assume was a rice flour base was a good explanation of why my gluten free friends often look so sad. If you love the glutards in your life, use almond flour for baking!

TEXTURE: 2/10
FLAVOUR: 2/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 6/10 (loses marks for fake chocolate)
OVERALL RATING: 3/10

Salted Caramel Slice: Catching Pen Cafe, Dannevirke

As per the last post – yes, we did buy four caramel slices on our way through Dannevirke yesterday. Yes, four may have been overkill. No, we have no regrets.

After a disappointing start – the first two cafes we checked had no caramel slice! – the Catching Pen Cafe pulled through with not one, but two outstanding slices that feature caramel. First, we tried their Salted Caramel Slice.

FIONA: Boy oh boy was this slice good. In fact, this is now officially the Benchmark Slice that all subsequent slices will be judged against (until we find a better one – should a better one exist, which it may not).

I firmly believe – with near religious conviction – that the ratios are what make or break a excellent caramel slice. If we’re talking biscuit:caramel:chocolate, 2:4:1 is ideal. If I wanted a biscuit, I’d buy a biscuit; if I wanted chocolate, I’d buy a chocolate bar. Caramel should be the indisputable star of the show here.

This humble slice, from the small provincial town of Dannevirke, achieved the trifecta of confectionary goodness with near perfect ratios. It had a thin but textural coconut and almond base, a thick slab of dark, rich caramel, and a thin, crunchy layer of chocolate on top. The salt flakes meant it wasn’t too sweet. It’s a good thing I took a picture before we started eating because this slice did not last long.

TEXTURE: 10/10
FLAVOUR: 10/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 9.5/10
OVERALL RATING: 9.5/10

ANDREW: Well this made my day. Thick, dark caramel, dark chocolate with crunchy salt and a nutty, flavoursome base. It’s now my offical reason why you might want to go to Dannevirke.

This was a great slice, well balanced with just enough salt to cut the sweetness. My only regret was having to share it with Fiona. By far the best slice so far.

TEXTURE: 9/10
FLAVOUR: 9.5/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: 9.5/10
OVERALL RATING: 9.5/10

Dannevirke Slices

The slice scene is pumping in Dannevirke. We got these four luscious looking slices to takeaway on our way through yesterday to sample once we got home. Individual analyses to come!

Caramello Slice: Bodyfuel Cafe Taupō

FIONA: This slice is basically a brownie sandwich with a thick slab of caramel in the middle. Great concept. Poor execution.

The brownie was verrrry dry. The caramel was very sweet but quite flavourless. The lack of crunchy chocolate on the top or texture in the base made for an average overall texture. We didn’t even finish it.

TEXTURE: 3/10
FLAVOUR: 2/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: Not really applicable to this slice. I suspect the brownie:caramel ratio would have been good if the brownie had been more palatable.
OVERALL RATING: 2.5/10

ANDREW: This wasn’t a winner for me. The brownie was dry like the Sahara and flavourless. The caramel also lacked flavour, making it something of a sandy and overwhelmingly sweet slice. This was a shame since the coffee and other food here was great.

TEXTURE: 3/10
FLAVOUR: 2/10
CHOC:CARAMEL:BASE RATIO: N/A
OVERALL RATING: 3/10

Death By A Thousand Slices: A Beginning

Hello! We are Andrew and Fiona, a husband and wife team who are big on food. 

Andrew is a champion baker with a particular fondness for caramel slice. Fiona has a massive sweet tooth and is also partial to a spot of caramel slice.

What better unqualified experts could there be to sample, review and rate the caramel slices of Aotearoa New Zealand?

There is a version of caramel slice in virtually every bakery and cafe in the country. But not all slices are created equal. Caramel slices need a number of factors to be just right to truly achieve greatness in the slice arena. Accordingly, we will discuss the relative merits of each slice, from texture, taste, and the all important caramel:chocolate:base ratio.

May this blog broaden your caramel slice horizons. Happy reading!